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Zombie Pest Control For Your Home Or Office
Zombies have become a big problem in major cities in the United States. Cincinnati, Columbus, and Dayton Ohio are no exception. It’s getting where you can’t even go outside to get into your car without the fear of being chased or attacked by a horde of them. While Extermital Termite & Pest Control caters mostly to everyday insects and rodents like ants, bedbugs, cockroaches, stinging insects and mice around your home or office, we have had to expand our business into Zombie Pest Control & Extermination and removal.
We have devised some DIY Zombie Pest Control tips that might help keep them at bay until our highly qualified trained Exterminal Zombie technicians can reach you. Please keep in mind that if you have an infestation or a horde at your home or office, you will need to take emergency precautions to avoid contamination.
Below are a few tips ( please see chart )
Zombie Proof Your Home or Office
- Board up all windows and doors that are not in use. You want to make sure you use ¾ inch plywood on all windows and doors. You want to make them flush with the window so the Zombies cannot get their bony little fingers inside to rip the plywood off. Also, this is important. You want to use 2 inch screws ( do not use nails .) Zombies can pry nails out especially when a horde is present and trying to gain entry. Unlike rodents or other pest looking for bits of food crumbs around your home, you have to remember, YOU ARE THE FOOD!
- If some of your neighbors or family members were unlucky and were mutilated, mauled or eaten in your yard or close to your home or office. You need to remove them from your lawn or parking lot area. They will attract more Zombies! Remember, Zombies are slow! When removing FOD ( foreign object debris ) from your lawn. If you are approached by one or more, you can simply walk fast. They cannot run. if you trip and fall. Just please make sure you don’t lay on the lawn screaming like you’re looking into a movie camera. If you’ve watched movies, you know this is when they will eat your brain. If you do fall, calmly get up and continue in a forward motion as fast as possible. But maintain composer.
- Proper disposal of Zombies. We hear from many of our customers telling us they have been piling Zombies in the back yard and burning them with gasoline. Please do not do this. The ashes will float through the air and could possibly land on the deceased and reanimate them. Be considerate. You have bag and tag them with the appropriate ply poly bag and approved tags ( found on our website .)
- Always stay around a group of people. Never be alone or with only close friends or family members that you really care about. You want a few people around that are not in your inner circle. The reason for this is if one or more of the undead breach your perimeter and you have to start running to get away from them. Keep in mind, you don’t have to be the fastest, you just don’t want to be the slowest. If you have to, you can always trip the person not in your circle. Hey, it’s all about sacrifice in the Apocalyptic world.
Note: If a distant friend invites you over. Proceed with caution. You could possibly be the friend NOT in their circle.
- If you’re out in the woods and a horde is trying to catch you, you can always climb a tree or get on top of something 6 feet tall or higher. Zombies cannot climb and have no reach to speak of. They have mutilated disfigured limbs and cannot grip well. Climb a tree or if you are unable to climb on top of something yourself, look for a building that has steps. Yup, steps. Zombies cannot climb steps or stairs. As long as you can walk up 4 or more steps, you’re safe.
- Never stop to tease or taunt Zombies. Although slow and a lot of amusement, they never sleep, rest or stop moving. They seem to always be walking around aimlessly in search of the living. If you tease them and fall down, break a leg or injure yourself. This will allow them enough time to catch up with you. At this point, you would become Zombie food yourself.
Common sense goes along way!
If you don’t use Extermital Zombie Pest Control, please make sure whatever company you use is licensed, bonded and insured for Zombie extermination, removal and disposal.
We here at Extermital Termite & Pest Control can handle all of your Zombie or any other pest Control needs. We have a solution for all of you creepy crawly problems.
The Extermital Team